Not A Drop Less....

Tears drip like rain pours 
Washing away all my hopes and dreams
 Like chalk on a blackboard 
As I find that what I have to do, I hate to do 
And I hate myself for not loving you
 And I await the day I'll be able to.
 Like when I fell for you, I hit hard
 And it shattered my make-believe 
Jolting me back to the reality that 
We connected! Unlike any connection before or since
 And my hesitance to go down this road
 Is actually not that different from yours 
It's like I kno what I'm capable of
 And I hate to think that I've hurt you now 
But I'd hate to be the one to drag you down
 Even though you think you're ready to go
So
 Tears drip down my face too, Like rain
 Pouring down window sills to the ground; 
My chest, to the pot hole my belly button forms 
Like a baby, I pour my soul into my hands,
 Poor baby! It was my choice and I know I punked out,
But sometimes the best thing is the hardest thing
And the hardest thing is the worst thing
'Cause head and heart don't communicate like they used to;
Head remembering heartache and heart turning love into a headache
And I can't bear being the cause of this and
I find myself sitting and wishing
That we could find some common time, Some place
Where we could stand, face to face, and
Wipe each others eyes dry.
And I...
I lay my head down
And rest seems to refuse to come
And then it does, leaving me at the mercy of my dreams
Tossed about by turbulent brain waves
There is no peaceful rest for me tonight
But I find rest nevertheless.
.......And I Find That, On Awaking, I'm Still In Love With You
.....And It Still Hurts, Not A Drop Less!!! 



-HalfCrazy
©Elias O.Dupuis 2010

It Was About Time.....

There are few occasions in life that call for a re-assessing of priorities, a refocusing of ideals or a change in directions. These events, though not everyday occurrences, force us to take stock of our lives so far; whether that means our connection to a higher power, how close we are to the ones we love and those we share DNA with or simply how far we are from having the lives we painted ourselves in as children. And whether we realize that we have fallen short or that we've far exceeded what we set off to accomplish, the fact remains that we are humbled by the experience.

There are a few birthdays that call for such a soul search, like 21, 40 and 50. There are weddings, graduations, promotions, births, deaths and funerals. The effects of these, whether they happen around us and especially if they happen to us, are undoubtedly immense. With each milestone we are constantly bombarded by what a necessity it has always been to truly enjoy the life you have, even if it's not the life you think you want or deserve. From the beaming faces of sheer joy at a wedding, the flash-flushed smiles of relatives and friends alike at a graduation or the pride in a father's eyes as he stares knowingly at his newborn, to the unexplainable grief that fake smiles can't hold back at a funeral as tears flow like rivers; they change us.

It causes us to love harder and deeper and never forget the reasons we have others to love, holding on the why that makes us love them and letting go of the envy and jealousy that sometimes blinds us to the fact that the ones we hurt the most are the ones we ought to cherish dearly. We feel because we are. And we are lucky to 'be'.

-HalfCrazy 
© Elias O. Dupuis 2010